13469760.0026.104Absinthe2377-3456Michigan Publishing, University of Michigan LibraryAnn Arbor, MI13469760.0026.104http://hdl.handle.net/2027/spo.13469760.0026.104ArticleEnglish Language is Death! | No Speaking VernacularNgobi (author and translator) Kagayi04112019261VIBRATE! Resounding the Frequencies of Africana in Translation2019This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. Please contact mpub-help@umich.edu to use this work in a way not covered by the license. OLUZUNGU LUMBE<xref rid="n1" ref-type="fn">1</xref> (Lusoga) Oluzungu lumbe! Lwise abaana be nsi eno- Oluzungu lumbe! Lutusibye amajegere- Oluzungu lulimi lukawa inho- Luliku na magha- Luwanda busagwa- Oluzungu lumbe! Oluzungu lumbe! Lututwaire abaana baife- Lututwaire amagezi gaife- Lutukwese ebyobugaiga- Nga ebyobuwangwa byaife- Oluzungu lumbe! Oluzungu lumbe! Batukuba gya nte- Okwega olulimi olwo- Olulimi olutali lwaiffe- Batukoba edhaiffe- Mbu dhiri ‘local’- Obuntubulamu buweire wo- Lufuire abosomi kizibu eri ensi yaife- Oluzungu lumbe! Oluzungu lumbe! ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS DEATH! English language is death! It has killed the children of this world— English language is death! It has chained us- English language is a bitter tongue! It has thorns all over it— It spits poison- English language is death! English language is death! It has taken our children away— It has taken away our knowledge— It has hidden our treasures— Like our cultures— English language is death! English language is death! They beat us like cows To learn this language To learn not of our people They tell us of our own That they are ‘local’— Our humanness is used up! It has turned the learners into a problem to our country— English language is death! English language! NO SPEAKING VERNACULAR!<xref rid="n2" ref-type="fn">2</xref> (WOLOOLO) For You Grace Dambya, and the rest of us punished at school for speaking our mother tongues. 1 Aha! It’s you Dambya Today I have caught you! Today you are not escaping me! Dambya, I have heard you Today I have heard you With my own ears You have said GWE Get out get out Get out of the dorm Come outside here You let him pass Come, come, come Every day, every single day, They report to me That you use vernacular And every time I ask you You deny, you say they lie, And you can deny, Dambya— You are so good at denying But today I have caught you With my own ears! I have heard you Speaking vernacular Today no denying! Today no? But Dambya, why? Why Do you always speak vernacular And you deny? Dambya why are you so local? What do you not know? The school rules and regulations? Who allowed you To speak your mother tongue? Dambya, if you cannot talk English How will you learn? If you cannot talk English How will you pass? If you cannot talk English How will you communicate? If you cannot talk English Where will you get a job In the future? The reason your parents Brought you to this school Is so that we transplant The village out of you And make you civilized You have to speak English All the time, all the? Excuse me! Yes, you! Run to the staff room You know where I sit? Check under my desk there You will see my stick You know it, not so? Bring it to me Hurry I don’t have time Dambya, the reason I am going to give you 15 strokes of that cane Is not because I am a bad person No, it is because I want to remove That village out of you That is why your parents Brought you to this school Lie down, ah, ah Sorry for what? Dambya if I do not cane you You will not understand Dambya no bargaining No, no Sorry for what? Ah! Ah! Dambya lie down Sorry for what? Dambya no, no No negotiating Today I caught you With my own? Lie down. Dambya, you know The school rules, not so? No speaking vernacular Full stop. Aha! This is the stick I was talking about As flexible as I like it! Dambya you know What it is up next, not so? ‘Sugar Special Time’ Hehehe! Go down You touch there I don’t count. *** 2 Good morning school The teacher on duty Has already talked about it The Speech Prefect Has also talked about it Last week I also touched on it But once again, I shall emphasize it: The issue of vernacular Being used in this school Should be put to bed Once and for all, full stop. Vernacular speaking In this school Should stop. It is a problem now Becoming a disease! Local languages Belong in your village homes Not among the civilized here In this school we only allow you To speak foreign languages Local languages are forbidden Local languages are? The school rules are clear! All of you must know This is not a local school. Now yesterday I caught this boy, Where is he? Where is Dambya? Come now in front here For the whole school to see The village in you; where is he? Aha! This one. You boy You are very stubborn, kneel down! School, you all know this boy, Look at him This boy is very stubborn Every day they report to me this Dambya That he uses vernacular But when he is caught, ho! He becomes a problem; He threatens prefects That him he cannot be touched Because him he is big But yesterday was the day I was doing inspection I saw Dambya seated there in his dorm One slipper blue, another one red Am I lying? I heard him tell his friend GWE I heard him with my own ears So this week — the sisal sack And bone necklace Belong to Dambya of S.5 ‘The Early Man of the Week’ You are to wear them today From morning up to end of class To serve the example to others Like you out there who think This school is for the uncivilized and local We are a first class school And we speak English We speak? Now you stand up — Get that thing and wear it now Also put on that necklace Today you are going To stand outside my office Until school ends To demonstrate to the other Dambyas Out there who may be tempted To think we are not serious On this language issue We are very serious Today you will not eat break or lunch You will only wait for evening porridge And you will be the last to be served School I hope this serves As a warning to all of you As the administration We are committed To being a first class school That is good in English That is good in? From today onwards, No Speaking Vernacular in this School. Repeat after me: No Speaking Vernacular in this School (No Speaking Vernacular in this School) Tell your neighbor No speaking vernacular in our School (No speaking vernacular in our School) Alright, have a great week. *** 3 Good morning teachers Thank you teacher-on-duty For those remarks I am glad dorm inspection Was done in no time I also want to thank All those teachers who marked And handed in all their results That is the spirit We must be showing Because this year our theme Is Team No Sleep I do not expect Any teacher to sleep Until this school beams As the modem of Modernity on this village Dear teachers, we must not sleep Our ears must not sleep— To bring modernity To this school permanently We must fight this growing disease Of vernacular speaking conclusively And we must fight it together We must fight it? But, but, teachers I am not at ease It has come to my attention Some of you do not cooperate At giving the sisal sack And bone necklace To vernacular speakers in your class; It is a shame some of you also Communicate in vernacular With students imagine! Dear teachers Unless you want to know Why a dog has no horns, Why are some of you Stupid to that level? How can a teacher and a student Have the same brain? This language issue Is going to get some people In this room fired if they think This is a joking subject For example this boy Dambya Who I caught myself (MYSELF!) I caught him saying GWE But to get him I had to get out All my tactics; I tiptoed like this Like this, like this, Up to behind his dormitory I was there for thirty minutes Waiting to catch him But finally I did. I did! How come none of you Managed to capture him before? I suspect some of you teachers Have been covering him Because he is a common culprit Now I will use him For the whole school to know How a head filled with local languages (Like one rotten tomato) Should never contaminate The heads of our students I don’t want that. I don’t want local languages To infest my school like Nairobi flies I am going to call Dambya’s parents To come and we end This issue: either he leaves His local languages home Or he leaves this school Once and for all full stop. As I conclude teachers Our target this year Is to score very highly In the national exams And what does that mean? No spreading vernacular because Exams are set in English That is my message For this particular week Those of you sleeping, wake up Please teachers remember To call Dambya to stand In your class as an example Of what this school should not be Whenever possible. Have a great week. *** 4 Good morning class Ready for literature? Do I have to repeat What the headmaster repeated After what I repeated here last week? You heard the headmaster again— On assembly No more vernacular speaking So from today onwards If I hear any vernacular You will face the music Of that boy Dambya So make my work easy By speaking only English And in this literature class it even Makes my work easily easier The good thing is English is an international language It can make you travel But local languages They take you where? To your villages Is that where you want to end up? You see the books we teach In what language are they? In what language is the national anthem? In what language is the national motto? In what language is the national constitution? So make my work easy By speaking only English And in this literature class it even Makes my work easily easier Where did we stop last time? Where did we stop? Where did we stop last time? All of you open your books And put your novels on top of your desks You, you do not have the novel? You, you left it in dorm? Yours, a friend borrowed it? All of you go and lie down there Now you ki-girl, you also Do not have the novel? Do not waste my time Just go in front there And lie flat, your forehead On the floor, and stay there What kind students are you Who come to my literature class Without the novel? Can you go to the garden Without your hoe? Class, I say this all the time If you want to pass this subject What do you do? Carry your book to Copy your notes to Sharpen your tongue to Pronounce your pronouns and Sing your syntax as The heart palpitates to The pace of the plot thru The pentameter and Just like that, You are civilized! You, who likes Ateso, look at you Can you make such rhyme Without reading book? Can you even make that In your mother tongue? Is there even literature In your mother tongue? Literature is literature Only in English You people without books What do we do for you? I don’t want empty tins in my class Without books You are empty tins Go to the D.O.S. Tell him to choose for you another subject I don’t want you in mine I am paid to teach students Not empty tins Now this ki-girl crying Without books How can you study literature? Literature is in books And if you don’t have books You don’t belong to this class! Out! *** 5 Daudi Kumbe you are Dambya’s uncle? You said his parents live far? And even now They are not in the country? That is okay Come to my office We wanted to only talk to his father Because this issue at hand Is very serious But, Daudi, since I know you For old times’ sake I shall speak to you This Dambya you see was caught Speaking vernacular By no one else except myself I caught him this time With my own ears It is a very serious issue It means Dambya shall not Pass his exams It will be bad for the school And we do not want that here Daudi, we have already Decided Dambya deserves An exemplary punishment A suspension of three weeks To serve as a reminder To him and the others Who speak vernacular It is irregular Daudi, this son of yours Is very stubborn He even teases my prefects But this time I caught him with my own ears Daudi this issue is very serious He said GWE In the dormitory And I was there Take him home And let him he speak All the local languages he wants When he returns I want to see him Immunized from vernacular Ready to speak only English No, Daudi, no, please do not plead Do not kneel, God, this is disgusting Daudi the decision is final Daudi it cannot be changed He threatens my prefects! Take Dambya with you Dambya you must learn To respect our regulations I want my school To be a first class school Now, if you excuse me Daudi take your son with you And bring him back after three weeks I hope he learns His lesson this time English is the language Of the civilized. *** 6 Excuse me, give me ko your pen Eh eh you, that is vernacular Sha! We are not in class Those things stop at the school ends Education is also practiced after school Sha! School is school Dorm is dorm Market is market And a garden is a garden Take your lugezigezi Back to your headmaster! Eh eh, you; Mr. Full Stop says He has ears all over the place What if he hears you talking now? Akole ki? You fear fear a lot you also Without English You will fail your exams Look here Even teachers are teachers Because they failed the exams Of lifestyle and lifetime Teachers are failures? Eeeh! Teachers are failures Who take their failures Out on us by being mean Because they see us As the dreams they will never be Me I fear being beaten like Dambya Imagine being there And all you think of is How to use pain Umbu to bring success Kyoka carrying around a cane As if military police! But without English There is no job for you Mpa ku pen naawe I want to beat this ffene But I cannot reach it. You, you don’t fear Being beaten like Damdya? Dambya kyali wange Oyo Mr. Full Stop talina magezi Education is not about what you teach But what I observe And I observe this ffene is ripe Bring the pen We will keep some for Dambya? Of course man we have to! Mwana boyi ali mu kawunyemu This school is fake It needs to give me a break It has also reached my neck Get your neck out of the way I am bringing down the ffene I hear they are calling Dambya’s zei’s Kale for just one word GWE Kwata pen yo You have homework to do Not so? Nanti you fear Being beaten like Dambya Not so? Get your pen With the masanda Let it stick to your hands All the time To make Mr. Full Stop happy. I hate that man Dambya did nothing wrong Dambya did nothing. Full Stop. *** 7 Early man! Early man! DAMBYA WELCOME BACK! Early man! Early man! Early man Dambya! Dambya welcome back! Story ki Dambya? Mwana what’s up? Man you missed the kadanke And the interact func Man you missed the Rugger game Man how was home? Hi, Dambya Hiiii Dambya This Dambya is back You Dambya, come here So you are back? Early man Dambya! Today is Friday I hope you have all All your class notes by Monday If you don’t you will know Why a dog has no horns Dambya, you stubborn boy! Come here. Carry these books To the staffroom Hahahaha! So you are back Dambya? DAMBYADAMBYADAMBYA Lie down I cane you How was home? Did you speak enough vernacular In your Lusoga? I hope you learnt your lesson You looked good in the sack And that necklace too! I wish we catch you another time! Alright you go to class The bell for the next lesson already went Dambya! DAMBYA! DAMBYA! Chief Vernacular speaker! Zinjathropus poster! Enter class Dambya, but keep Your local languages outside! Do not spread them in here DO YOU HEAR? (Excuse, is that the one Mr. Full Stop called Stupid Boy?) -He is the one- That one he will fail exams He will be a failure in life That one he will fail exams He hates English What’s up Dambya? The village boy! Hahahaha! The village boy! Hahahahaha! Dambya what’s wrong? Come on man stop being angry We are only joking Man, stop catching feelings Man me I’m your buddy Dambya, this is a small issue Just be cool Ignore everyone I know this school is fake man But you will make it through. *** Notes

This poem was written in Lusoga and translated into English.

This poem was written in English and is meant to appear only in English.