Article
Author: Jennifer Feeley
Keywords:
How to Cite: Feeley, J. (2017) “‘At Marienbad’ 在馬倫堡, “Reading Translations of the Closing Couplet of Yeats’ ‘Among School Children’” 讀葉慈《在學童中間》中譯末二行, by Xi Xi 西西”, Absinthe: World Literature in Translation. 22(0). doi: https://doi.org/10.3998/absinthe.9467
Xi Xi 西西. Poems from 西西詩集: 1959-1999. Hong Kong: 洪範書店, 2000.
The face of the afternoon paper. A stampede of fenced-in cattle. Green light. I race against the sick Futurist sun. All figures are →.
Walk down the hallway. Run into someone hawking wild straw- berries and singing strange songs. A girl rolling a copper hoop. A bell rings thrice. A poster paster appears. Cocteau stands behind a harp. Staring. Watching me, glancing past.
The evening paper covers the face of the afternoon paper. I run relays run obstacles. The hands of the police. Every clip-clop every two wheels intertwining every cross. Give me an anchor. Give me a mountain.
Many people have translated Yeats, but as for the debate of transliterating his name, should it be Yezhi or Yeci in Chinese? As a Cantonese, I think the latter more flattering In the closing couplet of ‘Among School Children’ Yeats writes: O body swayed to music, O brightening glance How can we know the dancer from the dance?
In Bian Zhilin’s version (to translate the translation) it reads: Body swayed to music, O, bright glance How can we differentiate the dancer and the dance? (though he lost the first O, he found the end rhyme)
Qiu Xiaolong’s rendition goes thus: O, body swaying to music, bright eyes How can we differentiate the dancer and the dance? (the medial O has been moved to the front the last line follows Bian Zhilin)
Fu Hao renders it such: O, body swaying with the music, O, brightening glance How can we differentiate the dancer and the dance? (though he has both the O’s the last line still smacks of Bian Zhilin)
Yuan Kejia recasts it as: Body swayed to music, bright glance How to make a man distinguish the dancer and the dance? (’glance’ and ‘man’ nearly rhyme ‘dancer’ and ‘dance’ are alliterative)
Yang Mu turns it into: O body spun to music, O gleaming glimpse How can we recognize the dancer from the dance? (he forgoes the Yeatsian rhyme for mere alliteration ‘spun to’ kinda spins off ‘swayed to’ ‘dancer’ and ‘dance’ are spot on)
To read the original is to read the author To read the translation is to read the translator Who speaks for Yeats? Translations are simply transitions O disparate starry skies, O variant landscapes How can we know the poet from the poem in translation?
(1998)