1937
October 8th
My mother, Biurakn, is ten years old.
I don’t know if it was November or December. Usually I would sleep soundly, but this time something woke me up. I jumped out of bed. It must have been 2 a.m. My mom, all pale, was standing by the door. Lisa was crying. My grandmother was pounding her knees. Two or three chekists1 were turning the room upside-down. There was also a woman with them. She had blue eyes and a stern face. She was terrifying. She was patting down my mother. My poor mother! What could possibly be on her in the middle of the night? I don’t know.
I felt that they were going to take my mother away. I started to scream. They were telling me, “Girl jan, 2 don’t cry, your mother will come back tomorrow.” I said, “I know that if you take her, she will never come back.”
I was running behind the car, barefoot, in my nightgown. I don’t know how they brought me back home.
The chekists took away with them all the tiny-little presents that I had received for my birthday, like my gilded earrings and spoons; they took all those with them. They took some of the books too, and they piled the rest in the courtyard and ordered to burn them. Lisa and my grandmother also burned the books.
I didn’t go to school for a few days. I lay on the taht3 thinking that since they took my mother away I have no right to live; it is better if I die. But I didn’t die.
Then upon their insistence, I pulled myself together and went to school. On a large board on the wall were the pictures of all the “A” students. My picture was no longer there. As the daughter of the people’s enemy, they had removed my picture.
They removed us from our home. They threw us—me, my maternal uncle (Vardkes), my uncle’s wife, Lisa, and their newborn daughter Minush—in a little room that was partially underground.
At school, I would notice that the moment those in the higher grades would see me they would murmur to each other, saying that “she is Vahan Cheraz’s daughter, they arrested her mother, they took out gold from their homes with meshoks.”4 I can remember all of that so clearly.
One day, I was sitting in class, and during our lesson, the door opened and that woman–the one who had come to take my mother away—she looked inside, with her large, blue eyes. I was horrified. I was on pins and needles! She waved her hand to the teacher, and Yesayan Hasmik from our class went out. During the break I asked Hasmik:
“Hasmik, who was that?”
“She’s my mother,” she said.
“What’s her name?”
“Nvard.”
“It’s Nvard Yesayan?”
“Yeah.”
I broke off my relations with that Hasmik.
1896
Vardanush Andreasian was born in the Western Armenian province of Kharbert5 in the village of Hazar6 next to the town of Chmshkatzag.7 Her mother’s name was Iskuhi, her father’s—Aleksan.
1915
The Turks kill Vardanush’s first husband—Boghos Zenneyan. By then Vardanush’s two-year-old son had died.
The Zazas of Kharbert save Vardanush’s family from her native Hazar village, by hiding them in the mountains.
1916-1917
In Karin (Erzurum) Vardanush meets her future husband—Vahan Cheraz—who was working for an organization that was named “Armenian Headquarters” dealing with refugee affairs.
OctoberVardanush and Vahan Cheraz get married. A few months later Vahan is exiled to Siberia.
1926
February 24
Here’s the news that you wanted to hear. Vahan was already freed from his exile. He doesn’t want to return here for now because of the horrific cold weather, because his health has deteriorated, which is very concerning. Secondly, he’s now convinced that it is necessary to leave here. I’m trying to find means to move our dear ones to other places. There is hope for success. In that case, we may need some money for the road.
Respectfully,
Vardanush Cheraz
My address is Vardanush Cheraz Poligon Leninakan,8 Armenia.
1927
January 25
My mother Biurakn is born. Vahan Cheraz, her father, is keeping a diary of Biurakn. Here is a portion from “The Annals of Biurakn.”
“Biurakn was born at 5:15 p.m. in the American hospital of the ‘Kazachi Post’ area.9 Vardanush did not suffer much, and gave birth without a doctor or midwife. The little one is thin. She weighs only 6.5 pounds.”
June 23
Vahan Cheraz is arrested.
October 10
From Vardanush’s letter to her brother Vazken Andreasian in Paris
“Don’t worry for us my sweet janik.10 We have hope that this too shall pass. It’s been a few days that I have returned from Tiflis. I saw Vahan. He seemed to be in a good mood. We hope that within a month the misunderstanding will be resolved.”
1928
January 9 (according to the document)
They shoot Vahan Cheraz.
May 10
Vardanush’s letter to Paris, to her mother Iskuhi
My dear destitute mother. What news do you expect? Didn’t you understand the reason why I’ve been silent? Couldn’t you conclude that I am still the same unfortunate person I always was? With the only exception that now I have a loving child, who means everything to me; she gives me life, even though I am the one who gave her life.
Just know that I would have felt the same grief. Moreover, mother, if I had refused him . . . since I had already known him, that was enough. At least now my conscience is clear. I did the right thing not to refuse him. Being conscious of this consoles me a lot. If I had done the opposite, what would have consoled me now? Finally, now I am a mother, and to what a child! One should see her to know what kind of a treasure this innocent angel is. My grief is that my little baby had every right to enjoy her exceptional father, who has been a father to others. I become bitter when I ask myself why my dearest little one should face such an irreplaceable loss.
I can’t accept this. Otherwise, believe me, for me it’s all the same; it’s not something new. It’s not new that I will feel unfortunate. Especially that now I am going forward with this awareness that I have to protect my health at every cost, so that I can take care and caress the two Biurakn-s of my memories [in other words ‘the two sources of my memories’].11 It seems to me that I have two consignments with me left from two loved ones: one is an unprotected child and the other an old child,12 for whom it is really worth living. And believe me, this loss makes me more aware of my new responsibilities, gives me strength to endure every misfortune. I surprise myself. Is it me who is still living? Believe me, I am living with more humility, patience, and I have a greater will to live. I feel healthier.” My dear mother, I know I have been the cause for all of your agony and pain, but know my dear, that I had committed no sin to have such an end; forgive me my kind and gentle mother for having given you so much sorrow unwillingly; when I think that way I am terrified. If you love me, don’t darken your, my father, and brother’s days. It doesn’t bring any good. If you think the way I do, you will not cry that much. Believe me I did not cry at the time of the unheard of catastrophe; maybe I am insensitive as the grandmother says. Although I have not filled out the applications for Vardkes to leave for Constantinople, because I was not in the mood, but I am sure that he will succeed, and if Vardkes ends up in your hands, don’t you ever agree to separate from your two sons at any cost! It’s enough how much you suffered from longing, my conscience torments me a lot knowing that my loved ones have suffered with me against my will, that I have always wanted to make my parents the happiest in the world, because they are worthy of it, that’s the thought that angers me. Finally, it’s enough, don’t suffer for me, consider that I have gone on exile and died. Aren’t we Armenian as well, which Armenian mother doesn’t have her child’s anguish in her heart? Poor Nono13 was probably not expecting this (and who would have expected it). He has just come to his senses, the last senses of an Armenian they say. This time let him ask for an explanation, for what? Oh, it’s enough.
Biurakn Cheraz
They would keep my father’s large picture wrapped up, on top of the cupboard. When nobody was at home, I would slowly climb up on a chair, and with difficulty would take the picture from the top of the cupboard. I would unwrap it, admire it, and put it back in its place.
***
Biurakn Cheraz
My mom must have thought that I was some kind of super child. She took me to ballet classes, to piano classes. She would attend to my drawing. She had given me the freedom to roam around whenever I wanted. I would bring home stray cats and dogs. I would catch little newborn frogs and bring them home. She would throw a party for my birthday and invite all my girlfriends. She would sew for them the same dress as she would sew for me. She had sewn the same dress for Jemma, Silva, and me.
My mother would sew for me different costumes of Eskimos, Ukrainians, Kurds, and Norwegians. In these costumes of different peoples I would dance at the kindergarten performances. They would take us on promenades; they would give us clay, and we would make different things with the clay.
My mother was an accountant at the state theater. I would always go and sit in the theater hall and watch actors practice. Every time the circus was in town, my mother would take me to see it. I knew that I would either become a circus performer or an actress.
Our weekly visits to the bath were a festivity. We would go with a carriage, with gathered bohças,14 with food, with the entire family, by scrubbing each other’s backs; sometimes they would call a kisaci.15 There was a clay mine near Gyumri. Women would wash their hair with that clay; the clay-water would always flow on the floor.
I remember my mother, with her black hair spread out, sitting majestically.
As long as my mother was there, I had an amazing childhood.
1937
June 3
Vardanush’s letter to her brother Vazken
From now on, look for Vahan and Vardanush in Biurakn.
December 26
Portions from the decision of the ASSR SS (Secret Service) trio
They heard
The Armenian SSR [Soviet Socialist Republic] NKVD16 of the Lenkagh [Leninakan city] Department N. 1470, conviction of Cheraz Vardanush Aleksanovna, born in 1895, inhabitant of Leninakan, from a large merchant family.
She is convicted for being an active member of the Dashnak17 organization, and has maintained ties with their foreign bureau. Her husband was shot for being the leader of the scouting organization in Armenia; he occupied with recruiting new members for the Dashnak organization. He had ties with Iran, whence the wife of an influential Dashnak came to visit him. He was maintaining contact with Dashnaks in foreign countries.
They decided
Cheraz Vardanush Aleksanovna: to be shot, her property to be confiscated.
Biurakn Cheraz as a ten-year-old: that little girl and her old grandmother holding hands.
I was a ten-year-old girl and with my grandmother we were going from the prison to the Cheka,18 from the Cheka back to the prison so that we could take food to my mother. I would go to the prison, stand in line, when my turn would come they would say: there is no one like that here, go to the Cheka, my turn would come they would say she is not here. So I was never able to get my mother anything.
With a two-month delay I received an envelope from my mother. She was asking for warm clothes. We went to the prison; they said that she is no longer in Leninakan. I would write many letters and in response would be told that the trio has convicted her to a ten-year exile without the right of any written communication. Later I heard from a woman who was freed from the Yerevan prison, that she was killed in one of Yerevan’s prisons.
1938
I was a kid, eleven years old; I went to the home of the chief of the KGB. They had shown me the place. I went up to the second floor, knocked at the door. They opened. I asked, where my mother was, why did you take her away, and I started crying. He didn’t say anything; he was looking at me sternly. I was so humiliated.
Biurakn Andreasian, 11 years old
My uncle’s wife Liza was worried about my last name being Cheraz. She had a friend in Gyumri’s registration office, and got a paper that showed that they had adopted me. I became Biurakn Andreasian, daughter of Vardkes.
1958
October 27
“Secret. Decision of Armenia’s SSR (Soviet Socialist Republic):
Examined the complaint of the deputy prosecutor of ASSR in the court session, against the decision of the former trio 26/12 of the ASSR SS (Secret Service), with which she has been convicted to the maximum level of punishment, condemned to be shot: Vardanush Cheraz of Aleksan, born in 1895, in Turkey, she lived in Leninakan, an Armenian . . .
[ . . . ]
Cheraz’s case was examined as a serious violation of the law, her arrest by the prosecutor is not permitted, there is no charge, the case has not been opened, translators have not been invited, the truth of the operating information does not seem reliable.
According to the information of the case and its complementary examination, the charges made against Cheraz are not justified.
The judicial council decided to abridge the case that charged Vardanush Cheraz, since the charges had not been proven.
1962
Biurakn Andreasian
My mother was an accountant. The last place she had worked in was the bread factory. When they recognized she was innocent, they gave her a salary for her last three months. To be honest, I didn’t want to take it. Then I thought, oh, whatever, I might as well? I will buy her grandchild a present on behalf of my mother. Avo19 was seven years old. He was going to start school and with that money we went to Leningrad20 with Avo.
I have translated what is already a work of translation. In this piece, Vahan Ishkhanian selected letters and documents, then organized them in a particular order and connected the different people and places appearing in the text. What is more, he altered and standardized the spelling of the original sources. With his translation he aimed to tell a personal story meant to evoke emotion, and here I have selected fragments from Ishkhanian’s narrative and provided my version of them.
The text called to me as a woman because of Ishakhnian’s bold positioning of his female protagonists; as I selected fragments of the text I further focused on the female voice. The rich archival sources on a rather obscure period of Armenian history and Ishakhanyan’s creative use of them appealed to the historian in me. Ishkhanian’s translation highlights his family history but it also includes notes of the history of Stalinism, of the Armenian genocide, of relations between the Diaspora and Soviet Armenia, as well as a history of trauma.
If a historian approached the same archival material first hand, she would try to translate a historical process. For example, she would examine the variation of spellings and language appearing in the texts to understand how quickly or slowly citizens like Vardanush adopted, contributed to, or resisted Soviet-era language policies. Such a historical narrative would require a different sequence of the archival material (letters, documents and oral accounts), which would hide the emotional world revealed through Ishkhanian’s translation.
I visualize Ishkhanian’s text as a museum, with a selection of art on display, with no interpretation or contextualization. Thus, the spectators, left to their own senses and knowledge, are forced to imagine the feelings that Vardanush may have had, the images that she described, the feelings and experiences that she had but did not verbalize—everything left undissected for the audience. The readers are also left to situate this narrative in their historical knowledge and memory. In this sense, and unlike the work of most historians, Ishkhanian’s testimony leaves room for further interpretation and, ultimately, other forms of translation.
In this sense, translation allows one to see details, thus it allows the historian to interpret a text more deeply. The minutiae of a text unravels itself when one attempts to translate and at moments when the translator faces impasses. Translating the above narrative allowed me to come face to face with the historical actors’ multilingual world, one so deeply adopted by the Armenian language that such cultural influences pass unawares. Indeed, I had to consult Russian, Turkish, Persian, and Armenian dictionaries in the course of this translation.
My experience in translating this excerpt highlights the value of historiography in different languages and the importance of turning to literary translations when writing about cultural, linguistic, and emotive layers embedded in our material and symbolic formations of history. In this sense, reflecting on the processes of selecting, sequencing, structuring as well as the translator’s subjectivity as part and parcel of the process of translation allows one to detect what is hidden and what is revealed through different types of translations.
Dzovinar Derderian
Notes
- Members of the Extraordinary Commission for Combatting Counterrevolution and Sabotage in the Soviet Union. ⮭
- “Jan,” which is an endearing word used in Armenian, Persian and Turkish. ⮭
- Persian for bed. ⮭
- Here the word used for bag was “meshok” in Russian. ⮭
- Currently Harput in Turkey. ⮭
- Currently Anıl in Turkey. ⮭
- Present-day Çemişgezek in Turkey. ⮭
- Leninakan was the Soviet-era name for Gyumri. ⮭
- “Post” here signifies a military observation position. “Kazachi Post” signifies an area in Gyumri. ⮭
- Here janik is a diminutive of jan. ⮭
- Here the author is playing with the word and name Biurakn, which while being the name of her daughter, also means “of thousands of sources.” ⮭
- By “old child” she means the wife of her previous husband Poghos Zennean’s brother. Her name was Narduhi Zennean. In the letters she is often referred to as grandmother. ⮭
- Nono was Vahan Cheraz’s father, Gaspar Cheraz (1850-1928), who lived in Constantinople. ⮭
- “Bokhcha,” in Turkish Bohça, is used here meaning bundle. ⮭
- Here the word “keseci” is used which comes from the Turkish word keseci—the one who cleans people by scrubbing them with a rough scrub mitt called kese. The Armenian transliteration is “kisaci.” ⮭
- The “People’s Commissariat for Internal affairs,” which was the main Soviet secret service force in the 1930s and 1940s. ⮭
- “Dashnak” refers to the Armenian Revolutionary Federation (Hay Heghapokhakan Dashnaktsutiun)—a political party established in 1890. ⮭
- Cheka was an emergency committee existing in many cities during the Soviet era. ⮭
- Avo is one of Biurakn’s sons. ⮭
- Now St. Petersburg in Russia. ⮭