OLUZUNGU LUMBE¹ (Lusoga)

Oluzungu lumbe!
        Lwise abaana be nsi eno-
 Oluzungu lumbe!
           Lutusibye amajegere-
              Oluzungu lulimi lukawa inho-
 Luliku na magha-
 Luwanda busagwa-
        Oluzungu lumbe!
 Oluzungu lumbe!
 Lututwaire abaana baife-
              Lututwaire amagezi gaife-
            Lutukwese ebyobugaiga-
 Nga ebyobuwangwa byaife-
        Oluzungu lumbe!
  Oluzungu lumbe!
          Batukuba gya nte-
             Okwega olulimi olwo-
  Olulimi olutali lwaiffe-
  Batukoba edhaiffe-
         Mbu dhiri ‘local’-
  Obuntubulamu buweire wo-
  Lufuire abosomi kizibu eri ensi yaife-
           Oluzungu lumbe!
         Oluzungu lumbe!

ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS DEATH!

English language is death!
         It has killed the children of this world—
  English language is death!
            It has chained us-
              English language is a bitter tongue!
  It has thorns all over it—
  It spits poison-
            English language is death!
  English language is death!
  It has taken our children away—
             It has taken away our knowledge—
          It has hidden our treasures—
  Like our cultures—
         English language is death!
  English language is death!
            They beat us like cows
              To learn this language
  To learn not of our people
  They tell us of our own
          That they are ‘local’—
  Our humanness is used up!
             It has turned the learners into a problem to our country—
            English language is death!
        English language!

NO SPEAKING VERNACULAR!² (WOLOOLO)

  For You
  Grace Dambya,
  and the rest of us punished at school for speaking our mother tongues.
  

1
 
  
  Aha! It’s you Dambya
   
  Today I have caught you!
  Today you are not escaping me!
  Dambya, I have heard you
  Today I have heard you
  With my own ears
  You have said GWE
   
  Get out get out
  Get out of the dorm
  Come outside here
  You let him pass
  Come, come, come
  Every day, every single day,
  They report to me
  That you use vernacular
  And every time I ask you
  You deny, you say they lie,
  And you can deny, Dambya—
  You are so good at denying
  But today I have caught you
  With my own ears!
   
  I have heard you
  Speaking vernacular
  Today no denying!
  Today no?
  But Dambya, why? Why
  Do you always speak vernacular
  And you deny?
  Dambya why are you so local?
  What do you not know?
  The school rules and regulations?
   
  Who allowed you
  To speak your mother tongue?
   
  Dambya, if you cannot talk English
  How will you learn?
  If you cannot talk English
  How will you pass?
  If you cannot talk English
  How will you communicate?
  If you cannot talk English
  Where will you get a job
  In the future?
   
  The reason your parents
  Brought you to this school
  Is so that we transplant
  The village out of you
  And make you civilized
   
  You have to speak English
  All the time, all the?
   
  Excuse me! Yes, you!
  Run to the staff room
  You know where I sit?
  Check under my desk there
  You will see my stick
  You know it, not so?
  Bring it to me
  Hurry I don’t have time
   
  Dambya, the reason
  I am going to give you
  15 strokes of that cane
  Is not because I am a bad person
  No, it is because I want to remove
  That village out of you
  That is why your parents
  Brought you to this school
   
  Lie down, ah, ah
  Sorry for what?
  Dambya if I do not cane you
  You will not understand
  Dambya no bargaining
  No, no
  Sorry for what?
  Ah! Ah!
  Dambya lie down
  Sorry for what?
  Dambya no, no
  No negotiating
   
  Today I caught you
  With my own?
   
  Lie down.
   
  Dambya, you know
  The school rules, not so?
  No speaking vernacular
  Full stop.
   
  Aha! This is the stick
  I was talking about
  As flexible as I like it!
  Dambya you know
  What it is up next, not so?
  ‘Sugar Special Time’
   
  Hehehe! Go down
  You touch there
  I don’t count.
   
    
  ***

2
 
  
  Good morning school
   
  The teacher on duty
  Has already talked about it
  The Speech Prefect
  Has also talked about it
  Last week I also touched on it
  But once again, I shall emphasize it:
  The issue of vernacular
  Being used in this school
  Should be put to bed
  Once and for all, full stop.
   
  Vernacular speaking
  In this school
  Should stop.
   
  It is a problem now
  Becoming a disease!
   
  Local languages
  Belong in your village homes
  Not among the civilized here
   
  In this school we only allow you
  To speak foreign languages
  Local languages are forbidden
  Local languages are?
  The school rules are clear!
  All of you must know
  This is not a local school.
   
  Now yesterday I caught this boy,
  Where is he? Where is Dambya?
  Come now in front here
  For the whole school to see
  The village in you; where is he?
  Aha! This one. You boy
  You are very stubborn, kneel down!
   
  School, you all know this boy,
  Look at him
  This boy is very stubborn
  Every day they report to me this Dambya
  That he uses vernacular
  But when he is caught, ho!
  He becomes a problem;
  He threatens prefects
  That him he cannot be touched
  Because him he is big
   
  But yesterday was the day
  I was doing inspection
  I saw Dambya seated there in his dorm
  One slipper blue, another one red
  Am I lying?
  I heard him tell his friend GWE
   
  I heard him with my own ears
   
  So this week — the sisal sack
  And bone necklace
  Belong to Dambya of S.5
  ‘The Early Man of the Week’
  You are to wear them today
  From morning up to end of class
  To serve the example to others
  Like you out there who think
  This school is for the uncivilized and local
  We are a first class school
  And we speak English
  We speak?
   
  Now you stand up —
  Get that thing and wear it now
  Also put on that necklace
  Today you are going
  To stand outside my office
  Until school ends
  To demonstrate to the other Dambyas
  Out there who may be tempted
  To think we are not serious
  On this language issue
  We are very serious
   
  Today you will not eat break or lunch
  You will only wait for evening porridge
  And you will be the last to be served
   
  School I hope this serves
  As a warning to all of you
   
  As the administration
  We are committed
  To being a first class school
  That is good in English
  That is good in?
   
  From today onwards,
  No Speaking Vernacular in this School.
  Repeat after me:
  No Speaking Vernacular in this School
  (No Speaking Vernacular in this School)
  Tell your neighbor
  No speaking vernacular in our School
  (No speaking vernacular in our School)
   
  Alright, have a great week.
   
    
  ***

3
 
  
  Good morning teachers
   
  Thank you teacher-on-duty
  For those remarks
  I am glad dorm inspection
  Was done in no time
   
  I also want to thank
  All those teachers who marked
  And handed in all their results
  That is the spirit
  We must be showing
  Because this year our theme
  Is Team No Sleep
   
  I do not expect
  Any teacher to sleep
  Until this school beams
  As the modem of
  Modernity on this village
   
  Dear teachers, we must not sleep
  Our ears must not sleep—
  To bring modernity
  To this school permanently
  We must fight this growing disease
  Of vernacular speaking conclusively
  And we must fight it together
  We must fight it?
   
  But, but, teachers
  I am not at ease
  It has come to my attention
  Some of you do not cooperate
  At giving the sisal sack
  And bone necklace
  To vernacular speakers in your class;
  It is a shame some of you also
  Communicate in vernacular
  With students imagine!
   
  Dear teachers
  Unless you want to know
  Why a dog has no horns,
  Why are some of you
  Stupid to that level?
   
  How can a teacher and a student
  Have the same brain?
   
  This language issue
  Is going to get some people
  In this room fired if they think
  This is a joking subject
   
  For example this boy Dambya
  Who I caught myself (MYSELF!)
  I caught him saying GWE
   
  But to get him I had to get out
  All my tactics; I tiptoed like this
  Like this, like this,
  Up to behind his dormitory
  I was there for thirty minutes
  Waiting to catch him
  But finally I did. I did!
   
  How come none of you
  Managed to capture him before?
  I suspect some of you teachers
  Have been covering him
  Because he is a common culprit
   
  Now I will use him
  For the whole school to know
  How a head filled with local languages
  (Like one rotten tomato)
  Should never contaminate
  The heads of our students
   
  I don’t want that.
  I don’t want local languages
  To infest my school like Nairobi flies
   
  I am going to call
  Dambya’s parents
  To come and we end
  This issue: either he leaves
  His local languages home
  Or he leaves this school
  Once and for all full stop.
   
  As I conclude teachers
  Our target this year
  Is to score very highly
  In the national exams
  And what does that mean?
   
  No spreading vernacular because
  Exams are set in English
   
  That is my message
  For this particular week
  Those of you sleeping, wake up
  Please teachers remember
  To call Dambya to stand
  In your class as an example
  Of what this school should not be
  Whenever possible.
   
  Have a great week.
   
    
  ***

4
 
  
  Good morning class
   
  Ready for literature?
   
  Do I have to repeat
  What the headmaster repeated
  After what I repeated here last week?
   
  You heard the headmaster again—
  On assembly
  No more vernacular speaking
  So from today onwards
  If I hear any vernacular
   
  You will face the music
  Of that boy Dambya
   
  So make my work easy
  By speaking only English
  And in this literature class it even
  Makes my work easily easier
   
  The good thing is
  English is an international language
  It can make you travel
  But local languages
  They take you where?
  To your villages
  Is that where you want to end up?
   
  You see the books we teach
  In what language are they?
  In what language is the national anthem?
  In what language is the national motto?
  In what language is the national constitution?
   
  So make my work easy
  By speaking only English
  And in this literature class it even
  Makes my work easily easier
   
  Where did we stop last time?
  Where did we stop?
  Where did we stop last time?
  All of you open your books
  And put your novels on top of your desks
  You, you do not have the novel?
  You, you left it in dorm?
  Yours, a friend borrowed it?
  All of you go and lie down there
   
  Now you ki-girl, you also
  Do not have the novel?
  Do not waste my time
  Just go in front there
  And lie flat, your forehead
  On the floor, and stay there
   
  What kind students are you
  Who come to my literature class
  Without the novel?
  Can you go to the garden
  Without your hoe?
  Class, I say this all the time
  If you want to pass this subject
  What do you do?
   
  Carry your book to
  Copy your notes to
  Sharpen your tongue to
  Pronounce your pronouns and
  Sing your syntax as
  The heart palpitates to
  The pace of the plot thru
  The pentameter and
  Just like that,
  You are civilized!
   
  You, who likes Ateso, look at you
  Can you make such rhyme
  Without reading book?
  Can you even make that
  In your mother tongue?
  Is there even literature
  In your mother tongue?
   
  Literature is literature
  Only in English
   
  You people without books
  What do we do for you?
  I don’t want empty tins in my class
   
  Without books
  You are empty tins
   
  Go to the D.O.S.
  Tell him to choose for you
  another subject
  I don’t want you in mine
  I am paid to teach students
  Not empty tins
   
  Now this ki-girl crying
  Without books
  How can you study literature?
  Literature is in books
  And if you don’t have books
  You don’t belong to this class!
   
  Out!
   
    
  ***

5
 
  
  Daudi
   
  Kumbe you are Dambya’s uncle?
   
  You said his parents live far?
  And even now
  They are not in the country?
   
  That is okay
  Come to my office
   
  We wanted to only talk to his father
  Because this issue at hand
  Is very serious
   
  But, Daudi, since I know you
  For old times’ sake
  I shall speak to you
   
  This Dambya you see was caught
  Speaking vernacular
  By no one else except myself
   
  I caught him this time
  With my own ears
   
  It is a very serious issue
  It means Dambya shall not
  Pass his exams
  It will be bad for the school
  And we do not want that here
   
  Daudi, we have already
  Decided Dambya deserves
  An exemplary punishment
  A suspension of three weeks
  To serve as a reminder
  To him and the others
  Who speak vernacular
   
  It is irregular
   
  Daudi, this son of yours
  Is very stubborn
  He even teases my prefects
  But this time
   
  I caught him with my own ears
  Daudi this issue is very serious
   
  He said GWE
  In the dormitory
  And I was there
   
  Take him home
  And let him he speak
  All the local languages he wants
  When he returns I want to see him
  Immunized from vernacular
  Ready to speak only English
   
  No, Daudi, no, please do not plead
  Do not kneel,
  God, this is disgusting
  Daudi the decision is final
  Daudi it cannot be changed
   
  He threatens my prefects!
   
  Take Dambya with you
  Dambya you must learn
  To respect our regulations
  I want my school
  To be a first class school
   
  Now, if you excuse me
  Daudi take your son with you
  And bring him back after three weeks
   
  I hope he learns
  His lesson this time
   
  English is the language
  Of the civilized.
   
    
  ***

6
 
  
  Excuse me, give me ko your pen
   
  Eh eh you, that is vernacular
   
  Sha! We are not in class
  Those things stop at the school ends
   
  Education is also practiced after school
   
  Sha! School is school
  Dorm is dorm
  Market is market
  And a garden is a garden
  Take your lugezigezi
  Back to your headmaster!
   
  Eh eh, you; Mr. Full Stop says
  He has ears all over the place
  What if he hears you talking now?
   
  Akole ki? You fear fear a lot you also
   
  Without English
  You will fail your exams
   
  Look here
  Even teachers are teachers
  Because they failed the exams
  Of lifestyle and lifetime
   
  Teachers are failures?
   
  Eeeh! Teachers are failures
  Who take their failures
  Out on us by being mean
  Because they see us
  As the dreams they will never be
   
  Me I fear being beaten like Dambya
   
  Imagine being there
  And all you think of is
  How to use pain
  Umbu to bring success
  Kyoka carrying around a cane
  As if military police!
   
  But without English
  There is no job for you
   
  Mpa ku pen naawe
  I want to beat this ffene
  But I cannot reach it.
   
  You, you don’t fear
  Being beaten like Damdya?
   
  Dambya kyali wange
  Oyo Mr. Full Stop talina magezi
  Education is not about what you teach
  But what I observe
  And I observe this ffene is ripe
  Bring the pen
   
  We will keep some for Dambya?
   
  Of course man we have to!
  Mwana boyi ali mu kawunyemu
  This school is fake
  It needs to give me a break
   
  It has also reached my neck
   
  Get your neck out of the way
  I am bringing down the ffene
   
  I hear they are calling Dambya’s zei’s
  Kale for just one word
  GWE
   
  Kwata pen yo
  You have homework to do
  Not so?
  Nanti you fear
  Being beaten like Dambya
  Not so?
  Get your pen
  With the masanda
  Let it stick to your hands
  All the time
  To make Mr. Full Stop happy.
   
  I hate that man
  Dambya did nothing wrong
   
  Dambya did nothing. Full Stop.
   
    
  ***

7
 
  
  Early man! Early man!
   
  DAMBYA WELCOME BACK!
   
  Early man! Early man!
   
  Early man Dambya!
   
  Dambya welcome back!
   
  Story ki Dambya? Mwana what’s up?
   
  Man you missed the kadanke
   
  And the interact func
   
  Man you missed the Rugger game
   
  Man how was home?
   
  Hi, Dambya
   
  Hiiii Dambya
   
  This Dambya is back
   
  You Dambya, come here
  So you are back?
  Early man Dambya!
   
  Today is Friday
  I hope you have all
  All your class notes by Monday
  If you don’t you will know
  Why a dog has no horns
   
  Dambya, you stubborn boy!
  Come here. Carry these books
  To the staffroom
   
  Hahahaha! So you are back Dambya?
   
  DAMBYADAMBYADAMBYA
   
  Lie down I cane you
   
  How was home?
   
  Did you speak enough vernacular
   
  In your Lusoga?
   
  I hope you learnt your lesson
   
  You looked good in the sack
   
  And that necklace too!
   
  I wish we catch you another time!
  Alright you go to class
  The bell for the next lesson already went
   
  Dambya! DAMBYA! DAMBYA!
   
  Chief Vernacular speaker!
  Zinjathropus poster!
   
  Enter class Dambya, but keep
  Your local languages outside!
  Do not spread them in here DO YOU HEAR?
   
  (Excuse, is that the one
  Mr. Full Stop called Stupid Boy?)
  -He is the one-
  That one he will fail exams
  He will be a failure in life
  That one he will fail exams
  He hates English
   
  What’s up Dambya?
   
  The village boy!
  Hahahaha! The village boy!
  Hahahahaha!
   
  Dambya what’s wrong?
  Come on man stop being angry
  We are only joking
   
  Man, stop catching feelings
  Man me I’m your buddy
  Dambya, this is a small issue
   
  Just be cool
  Ignore everyone
  I know this school is fake man
   
  But you will make it through.
   
    
  ***