Walâ: Hold breath
Rational or not, You kept the directive short. Focused on key words. Don’t go out alone. Another attack. Someone just like you.
Isá: Palm of the hand
Later, you overhear Mom (aka Nanay aka Lola aka Tita) on the phone with her Ate and Dete. Not safe right now. Mahirap. Their chorus of Travels through the ether From Quezon City to Chicago via WhatsApp. Their furrowed brows fill the screen In the palm of her hand.
Dalawá: Flank and Surround
A new choreographic response emerged instinctually. At first it was a kind of flanking. Two family members on either side. Flank: verb [with object] guard or strengthen (a military force or position) from the side. But she was still exposed. She was still visibly a senior citizen, an Asian/American woman. Intuitively, a third family member moved to walk in front of her.
Tatló: Circumscribe
Thus, the flanking became circumscribing. “Some common synonyms of circumscribe are We surround her with our bodies to hide her from view. We imitate bodyguards shielding a celebrity from the paparazzi. We are ridiculous. We acclimate to her pace. Our amoeba formation shuffles down the sidewalk.
Apat: Quotidian movement
(By the way, we were just taking her to the dentist. A quotidian outing. Like how, the Monday before, Tita Vilma was going to church, on the morning of her birthday.)
Limá: Tongue
In a class for heritage learners, The professor explained my mother tongue to me. It is the logics of a different world. Ka indicates relationality… . Ka + patid (cut) = means cut from the same umbilical cord Kapatid na babae—sister Kapatid na lalaki—brother Kaibigan—friend Kapitbahay—neighbor Kasama—companion, comrade Ka as a worldmaking speech act Ka as recognizing relationality.
Anim: Out of Sight
So let me get this straight. We want to keep her safe by keeping her invisible. Wasn’t she invisible from the day she arrived in this country? And now these things keep happening. In broad daylight. East coast, west coast. And we need to make her invisible again?
Pitó: Cover your ears
Are you about to quote the trite bits from the news? Or a meme? Or a tweet? I don’t want to hear it. Another incident of. No thank you. Salamat. The news, by the way, is a choreography of emphases and elisions. For example: Emphasis: Spike in Asian Hate amidst pandemic. Elision: Emphasis: Attacker: mentally ill, homeless, ex convict Elision: Emphasis: Security guards were fired. Elision: Emphasis: She was told she does not belong Elision:
Waló: To Shut
No need for a screenshot here. The security camera footage is burned in your mind. This particular choreography of silence and erasure One body laying on the ground outside. Three bodies tentatively approach from inside One locks the door The three back away. Circumscribing keeps them in. Keeps the danger out.
Siyám: Shuffle
We shuffle forward around Lola. Qualities of a shuffle… A hushed yielding to gravity Is also an imperceptible allowance for lightness. A transitory state.
Sampû: Dissolve
Whenever they asked You know, in My father used to respond. Since before you were born. Long enough to know, for example, That in the Midwest On the morning after the first frost (If you’re lucky) You’ll catch a murmuration Over the fields. In some other world, a world we have yet to know, All the non-belonging minor bodies Join and congeal like this. The choreography of circumscription morphs into a continuous folding A swallowing of center and periphery. A dissolution in order to start anew And take flight.
Video footage by Dahlia Nayar shows flocks of birds flying in murmuration over a green field in Illinois, in October 2021.
Erin McKean,
Special thanks to Tita Joi, Dr. Joi Barrios-Leblanc, UC Berkeley.